Thursday, May 13, 2010

Confusion

Note : This is not a complaint post, but just a few examples based on true stories.

When I read about this post by Angeline, I just got to nod in agreement. This is just so right and it is happening in my life!

Story A
YX likes colouring, but he hates to keep them after used. MIL hate the sight of messy house and thus, nagging at YX hoping he will clears off his mess. YX turned deaf ears. I nag at him too, and he ignored me. Then, I decided to use my father's method - psychology. My dad always believe kids can be psychologically train and does not always necessary be caned. This method only works when I'm in good mood and have the patience, ya.

Me: YX, please keep your GREEN colours.
YX : *without much hesitation* OK OK...GREEN !
Me : Next, BLUE colour. PURPLE, ORANGE, BLACK and so on.

In less than 5 minutes, all the colour pencils are kept in the box neatly. The floor looks tidy too.

However, in between MIL commented "Aiya...pick up everything at one go la. Why must choose colour". YX ignored her and excitedly search for the colour I mentioned.

Mother said like this, Grandma said like that, leaving the child confused.

Story B
YX loves to play with the plastic food cover (those we use to cover our food on the table). He will put his rubber ducklings and his toy doggies inside and create his own stories. As long as the 'tools' he used are not DANGEROUS, HARMFUL or will cause WASTAGE, I will allowed him to play as I love kids to be creative by using their own imagination. But not for SIL. When I was busy with something else, .......

SIL : YX, put them back NOW! Don't play with those food covers. It is not your TOYS!
YX : No, that is my doggie's house. I want to play. (of course he will protest because he was allowed to play with it for the past 10 minutes, not until SIL saw)
SIL : I said KEEP!

When mother ALLOWED, but aunty said NO. Child confused!

Story C
YX : Ah Ma, I want to eat apple.
MIL : Cannot, you are still coughing. Wait till you gets better first, ok?

Run to Grandpa who was munching some apples and requested for the same.

Wish granted.

Grandma said NO, Grandpa said YES. Child confused.

Story D
MIL : YX, eat on your own.
Me : Nevermind, I will feed him.

I don't mind feeding him even I'm very hungry because I just love to see him eating with great appetite. Moreover, how long can I still feed him before he feels embarrassed to be fed ?

When Grandma insist on INDEPENDENTS, the mother SPOILT THE KID. Child confused.

10 comments:

  1. Very true indeed... Different opinion from adults make a child confuse...

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  2. Those are very interesting storylines! When Juan Juan scatters her colours, I'd just tell her to clean up before her "snacks", she will do it without fuss( I serve snacks after she has done with her "homework")!:)

    I allow my kids to play whatever they like too, as long as it's not harmful! Their uncle never dare to "cakap" to much, lol!

    1 question, why can't eat apple when kids have cough har?

    The last case, I'm kinda agree with your MIL. I prefer my kids to eat on their own( messy also nvm), I reckon some good virtues should be picked up from early age!^-^

    Have a wonderful day to you!

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  3. p & p mum ~ This will always happen if staying with extended famalies.

    Alice Law ~ I was told that apple are cooling. Morever, the apple grandpa was eating are from the fridge. Ya, I should let my son be independent, but in between, i just love to spoilt him. *grin*

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  4. Haha similar things happen to me too. Even though I don't stay with my MIL, but it will still happen when we go back. :(

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  5. Vicky ~ Wait till you are a mummy, you will understand more. ;)

    cheeyee ~ Tolerate is the best solution to avoid any argument. Slowly, u will get used to the situation. hehe..

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  6. Ya, this is unavoidable in an extended family like yours... too many individuals (adults) with different opinions.

    I'm sorry but I agree with your SIL that not all the things in the house can be their toys. There's got to be a boundary somewhere. I cannot imagine C playing with EVERYTHING in the house that is not harmful or dangerous. It's just not possible for me to accept that. I'll go mad too ;)

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  7. I have also experienced this countless of times before when staying with the in-laws. True as you mentioned in one of the comments...the key word is tolerance. I used to hve a lot of tolerance until I realize my son may eventually grow up not being how I want him to be trained or brought up, then my tolerance gradually became lesser and lesser. So the next best option is to move out and stay on our own, lest the child grows up confused.

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  8. I like your psychology trick... will use it on my girl next time.. :)

    I think I'll say they are very clever. They know where to turn to to get what they want. One say NO.. they will go to the one that will say YES... haha

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  9. Chloe ~ Ya, too many adults gave too many oponions. Sometimes, not only the child are confused, I'm too! haha.....Btw, thks for sharing your thought on the 'toy's issues. I somehow have to agree with you that NOT ALL things are to be regards as toys but sometimes, when I'm busy, those toys can keep them busy for a good 30 minutes.

    Alice Phua ~ Wow...your tolerance burst! Well, you are blessed with an understanding hubby who agreed to shift with you. And staying on your own does have the pros and cons where depends on how you see them positively.

    Linda ~ My dad strongly believe in psycology tricks but this need lots of patience. Else, they don't work. Nowadays, kids are just so stubborn.

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