Tuesday, April 26, 2011

How The Fight Started

I was browsing for some info via google and stumbled upon this jokes. Not sure if any of you read this before, but hope you enjoy reading them !

1. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station.....
And then the fight started....

2. My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we
were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....

3. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized
I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry,
but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,
'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....

4. Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on
the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back
into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up
to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The
weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied,
'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ...

5. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's
my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split
up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'
And then the fight started.....

6. I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was
a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY! So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....

7. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't
you worried about that 'Mad Cow?'' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started.....

8. A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started ...........

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And I pretty like the below poem (is that what u call it ?) 

Don't think of the PAST, it brings TEARS
Don't think of the FUTURE, it brings FEARS
Think PRESENT and BE HAPPY, it brings CHEERS ! 

Hope you do have a good laugh on the above jokes and have a happy day !

27 comments:

  1. haha, very funny, and most of the time after the fight started, it's the wife that normally wins!! :D

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  3. i read this from FB also, thot to share:

    Husband: You are my A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L..
    Wife: What do you mean by that??
    Husband: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot..
    Wife: Then what about I, J, K, L??
    Husband: I'm Just Kidding Lah~~ :D

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  4. i read this from FB also, thot to share:

    Husband: You are my A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L..
    Wife: What do you mean by that??
    Husband: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot..
    Wife: Then what about I, J, K, L??
    Husband: I'm Just Kidding Lah~~ :D

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  5. hahahaha....thks for sharing this ! Some people are really creative to think of such thing !!!! hahahaha

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  6. hahaha......i like #4 and #5.

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  7. ya ya.....and thks to those creative people to think of such jokes to enlighten us!

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  8. i felt a bit of lifted up after reading those jokes......

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  9. ya...after reading them, i'm slightly happier.....haha

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  10. :) glad that you enjoyed reading them

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  11. Hi, thanks for stopping by. I love this jokes, can I forward the my ladies friends?

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  12. hahahaha....thanks for sharing...it really make me laugh.....

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  13. :) glad that you enjoyed reading

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  14. yes sure...u sure can.... share with others and make them laugh.

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  15. Wakakakakakakakakaka I loved all of them.What a wonderful way to end my work day, laughing at all of the jokes. Thanks so much! ^_^
    +Ant+

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  16. Thanks for sharing, always enjoy reading husband and wife bloopers!

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  17. Very enlightening!! even the poem is cheerful... :)

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  18. The poem is somehow true ........

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  19. haha......glad that you enjoyed reading them.

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  20. :) I laughed and still laughed reading them again and again

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  21. Haha....glad that you enjoyed the jokes. I, too enjoyed reading them. Sometimes, jokes could lift up a person's spirit ya.

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